Spirit has taught me, from a very young age, that gaining closure with a person (where necessary of course) is imperative so that we can move on with our lives in a positive way. After all, we cannot possibly embrace our future without having effectively dealt with our past. There are three types of closure:
1. Natural closure that comes with the passage of time.
2. Direct closure that we may have with the person or persons involved and where love is concerned.
3. Third party closure when we meet someone else.
All well and good, you may be thinking, but it takes time to get that natural closure. Maybe your ex (or whoever) won’t give you direct closure and you don’t want to have to wait until you meet someone else in order to get it! But you do need a degree of closure now. Well, spirit recognizes this and offers the two following solutions which may be of benefit to all those who need to gain closure on someone and find forgiveness, and start afresh in the shortest possible time:
“You can’t escape what you will not deal with. The day you can stand in the room with someone and not be affected is the day you truly moved on” ~ Shannon L. Alder
The Photograph Technique
1. Find a photograph of the person you are wanting to gain closure on. The photo needs to be as recent as possible with only the person themselves in it, and no-one else. Also, the person needs to be looking forward so that you could make “eye contact” with them, so to speak, when you are looking at the photograph.
2. Write a letter to the person involved. Nobody will ever see this letter, as it is between you and God. Instead, it is simply for the purpose of this exercise. So, once you have written it be sure to keep it in a safe place until needed. When writing the letter, however, do not be afraid to say what youfeel. Get all of your love, anger, frustration and hurt out of your system. Literally, say it as it is felt inside.
3. You will also need two candles (one red one, one white); a coffee table or similar surface to work on; and 20 to 30 minutes of private time in which you will not be disturbed.
4. Get yourself relaxed. Have a nice warm bath or shower, followed by a relaxing non-alcoholic beverage of your choice.
5. Place the red candle to your right (as you look at it) on the coffee table, and the white to your left. This is if you are right handed, otherwise position the candles in the reverse if you happen to be left-handed. Position the photograph in an upright position between the two candles. Now place the letter you have previously written on the table in front of the red candle.
“There’s a trick to the ‘graceful exit.’ It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, or a relationship is over — and let it go. It means leaving what’s over without denying its validity or its past importance to our lives” ~ Ellen Goodman
6. Take a deep breath, lock eyes with the person in the photograph. The eyes are the windows of the soul, so even though the person in question may not be in front of you physically, they will pick up that what you need to say on an energetic, soul level.
7. Take the letter and read it to the person in the photograph, whilst maintaining eye contact with them at all times. Do not be afraid to raise your voice if you feel the need. Most importantly, get all of those feelings out!
8. When you are done, bid the person well. This is very important – you must wish them well in order to move on effectively.
9. Rip up the letter into little pieces and burn it in the flames of the red candle. Try to feel your anger, hurt, disappointment, humiliation, frustration, and so forth. Feel these negative emotions being burned away at the same time. Then pass the burning letter through the flames of the white candle for purification of thought.
10. Tidy up and put everything away safely, in case you may have to do the exercise again at some point. Hopefully, you wouldn’t feel the need.
Once you have cleared the air by doing the above exercise, you then need to put the person in question out of your mind. But, even after doing an exercise as powerful as The Photograph Technique, the memory of a person can, sadly, still linger to some extent. They may remain in your “spotlight” or thinking focus. Hence the following exercise.
“I realize that not everyone could be granted the chance of getting a decent closure – most people just deal with the decisions they made then on their own” ~ Dawn Lanuza
The Spotlight Technique
1. When the person you wish to put behind you, emotionally speaking, comes into your spotlight, you need to switch focus as quickly as possible onto another subject. It really doesn’t matter what that subject is, providing it isn’t over-taxing and I would suggest you steer away from the subject of love – if love be the issue here! You could, for example, choose something that you are looking forward to doing. In fact, you can have many different subjects to think about if you choose and providing they hold your focus, in a pleasant way, for about ten minutes or so. That is all you need.
2. Each and every time the person comes back into your mind, again, you simply switch focus. By doing so you will not only be creating a healthy habit when it comes to your thinking, but also putting yourself in charge of your thoughts. Spirit teaches that by being in charge of our thoughts we are in charge of our emotions and after all, is that not partly the objective here?
True, The Spotlight Technique may be very simple to do, but the more you practice it the easier and more effective it should become. I sincerely hope that both these techniques benefit you greatly, as they have myself, where gaining closure on the past is concerned.
This post was written by Nadia Vella